faithanddagger:

I don’t care who you are. If your girlfriend falls asleep in your lap, and even after 30 minutes when both of your legs go numb, don’t move. You fucking stay there and appreciate the cute little thing in your lap. If you move you’re weak and natural selection is coming for you.

ashtoniws:

ottermatopoeia:

mattniskanenseyebrows:

OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK

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OCTOBER IS THIS WEEK
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OCTOBER IS TOMORROW

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When I try to get my friend to leave a bar after she’s spotted a super hot guy who’s exactly her type